sense of self

Building a Strong Sense of Self. Lesson #2: Affirm

Every word you say, every thought you think, every feeling you acknowledge … it is all affirming for you your current state of awareness.

What you affirm, you get back in return. Particularly if it is affirmed with feeling.

The fine line between acknowledging and allowing

I’d like to begin by making it really clear here that it is important to allow old thoughts, feelings and actions to express themselves.

As soon as you are aware that you are saying, thinking or feeling something that you do not like, you are expressing it. This is an opportunity to let that thing go – forever. Never mention it again would be the ideal.

It’s when you do mention it again that you affirm that thing. By doing so, you acknowledge it and give it a story. You continue the cycle; make it more real. You recreate it unnecessarily in your life.

Moving toward deliberate creation

What do you want to experience in your life? Certainly not those words, thoughts and feelings that you did not enjoy (hopefully – although we can become very attached to those stories)!

We are affirming all the time in our lives. Liking this, not liking that, acknowledging this, not acknowledging that … Whether conscious or unconscious, the things we are noticing are the things we are affirming. The things we are affirming are the things we are creating.

Wouldn’t you rather create as much as possible the things that you want in your life?

You build your sense of self with your affirmations

When you unconsciously affirm all the things that you notice, you unconsciously agree to bring more of those experiences into your life. Good, bad or indifferent – those things become all tied up with who you think you are. (That’s your sense of self.)

In this way, you are building yourself up or down depending upon what you are affirming. If your affirmations are unconscious, your sense of self is most likely quite small. You aren’t really aware of your power to choose and create your own life. You live with what you’ve been given. This is not very empowering and can be a disheartening way to live.

If your affirmations are conscious (that means chosen) you are building yourself the way you want to be. You are strengthening your sense of self.

How to affirm yourself into who you want to be

This is something to take on one step at a time.

  1. Notice. Yes, that’s it. Can you notice when you are affirming something in your life?
  2. Allow. Now can you notice without continuing that thought? You are allowing something to be without affirming it and recreating it in your life.
  3. Consciously affirm. Once you have noticed and allowed what you may not want – then is the time to decide what you do want.  This is your conscious affirmation.

Most important, if you are wanting to build your sense of self – is that your affirmation is aligned with who you are. There is no point in affirming “I have a shiny new porsche” when who you are simply wants to shine. I recommend using affirmations that are short, simple and universal.

I am amazing, I am strong, I am motivated, I am focussed …

The simpler your affirmation, the greater potential there is for it realisation to show up in your life. Once you start noticing and reaffirming (for example) “I am amazing” then you really do become amazing. Your sense of self is strong and proud – because you enjoy being who you are.